Adult Jokes ....

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A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and
sad at the same time." The wife thought for a few moments, then said,
"Your dick's bigger than your brother's."

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The shy young man and his shapely date were parked under a romantic
moon. Placing his hand on her thigh, he whispered, "I love you." With
a deep sigh, the happy girl replied, "A little higher." "I love you,"
came the higher-pitched reply

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How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the
lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She
figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night,
while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session,
she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was
holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft,
wonderful and larger than a "real one." She went completely
ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could
you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll
explain the toy... you explain the kids

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