1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right
now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll
get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those
reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company,
I already sent the money. If you are my parents,
please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If
you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are
a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now you say something.
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering
machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am Matt's answering machine. What are you?
7. This is not an answering machine -- this is a
telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone,
think about your name, your number and your reason
for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
8. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding
someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I
don't call back, it's you.
9. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't
pick up the phone right now, because we're doing
something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up
and down, and I like doing it left to right... real
slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done
brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
--
My life has changed. What about yours?
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