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Engineering joke -
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor
shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This
gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only A.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier
I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
