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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

ANSWERING MACHINE ANSWERS

ACTUAL ANSWERING MACHINE ANSWERS RECORDED AND VERIFIED BY THE WORLD FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ANSWERING MACHINE ANSWERS.



1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right

now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll

get back to you as soon as we're finished.



2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those

reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.



3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company,

I already sent the money. If you are my parents,

please send money. If you are my financial aid

institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If

you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are

a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.


4. Hi. Now you say something.



5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering

machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.



6. Hello. I am Matt's answering machine. What are you?


7. This is not an answering machine -- this is a

telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone,

think about your name, your number and your reason

for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.



8. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding

someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I

don't call back, it's you.


9. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't

pick up the phone right now, because we're doing

something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up

and down, and I like doing it left to right... real

slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done

brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

--
My life has changed. What about yours?
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