Elbow pain....

_______________________________________________________________________
One day, Pete complained to his friend,"My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a
sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell
you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store.

Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started
flashing.

After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper,which read: You have
tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be
better in two weeks.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
it would change medicalscience forever, he began to wonder if this could
be fooled.

He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog,
and urine samples from his wife and daughter.
To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the
computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed
lights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
shampoo.

3. Your daughter is getting screwed by three guys at
the same time and having urinary infection. Put her
on antibiotic and keep a track of her outings.

4. Your wife is pregnant . . . twin girls. They
aren't yours. Get a Lawyer.

5. And bastard,....... if you don't stop jerking
off, your elbow will never get better !!!!!!

_______________________________________________________________________