Men are like computers – hard to figure out and never have enough memory
Men are like coolers – load them with beer and you can take them anywhere
Men are like chocolate bars – sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips
Men are like coffee – the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night
Men are like horoscopes – they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong
Men are like cement – after getting laid they take a long time to get hard
Men are like laxatives – they irritate the shit out of you
Men are like parking spots – the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped
A man is like a snowstorm – you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last
What should you give a man who has everything? – A woman to show him how to work it
How does a man show he's planning for the future? – He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? – The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? – They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? – After a year the dog is still excited to see you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? – Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between men and government bonds? – Bonds mature
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? – We don't know, it's never happened
Why are men like tile floors? – If you lay ' em properly the first time, you can walk over them for years.
What do you call a man with half a brain? – Gifted.
AND FINALLY …… Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? – Because these men already have boyfriends!
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My life has changed. What about yours?
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